“How to Bore Your Readers to Death and Scare them Away” plus 1 more

How to Bore Your Readers to Death and Scare them Away

Posted: 20 Oct 2012 01:07 PM PDT

This guest post is by Jack Samuelson.

Blogging is no joke. There are millions of blogs, probably hundreds of millions of bloggers, and billions of articles online. Still, that does not mean everybody can blog effectively and run their own blog with success. So what about all those unsuccessful bloggers? Is the lack of popularity their own fault? Check out this short manual and find it out for yourself…

If you're a successful blogger you might think you don't need to read this. You couldn't be more wrong. What if you got tired of doing the right thing and all this pesky, worthless success? Huh? You will definitely need my advice to kill your blog and scare away your readers. So, read and don't forget to take notes.

Research? I don't need no stinking research!

“I can write about any topic you want! Give me a subject and I'll get back to you in just a few moments, perhaps an hour or so, with an already finished text. Try me! I'm writing off the top of my head and my head is full of great ideas. I can produce like ten valuable posts every day. No problem!”

Yeah right. You are probably one of millions of bloggers out there saying the same things. And I'm sure you are all misunderstood by the society of bloggers, which is why they reject your posts and ignore your blogs! Poor fellows.

Let me put it bluntly:

No research = no valuable content = no readers. Period.

Dear diary…

“I have such an exciting life! I just need to share it with you! With all of you. I don't care that this is a tech blog, and I am writing about what I ate yesterday. I want to share all my experiences with you—tell you about my day, my adorable pets, my ex-girlfriend (ok, I'll admit it—my imaginary ex-girlfriend).”

Now, listen. There is your personal diary where you can write whatever you want, and there is a blog where you should write what your readers want to read. Got it?

I'm the Pablo Picasso of blogging

“I am an artist! What I write is like a stroke of brush on a canvas. I never change what inspiration and muses bring to me. And you wouldn't try to improve a piece of art would you? That's why I write, finish and immediately publish my work, so people can enjoy and appreciate it (and bask in the glare of my genius!).”

Yup. That sums it all up. You are so attached to your words, you just can't give them up. Every sentence is sacred and perfect. And then you wonder why no one reads your blog? You want to know why? I can help you with that: your articles are full of nonsense. They are simply unreadable. There you have it. It’s not marketing skills, but basic writing skills and modesty that you lack.

The word is the word!

“I'm a writer so I don't add images, photos, videos or anything that could distract my readers! I also write long paragraphs so I can express myself the way I like. My articles are like short parts of a novel, of an epos. I am too great to care about the readers—they should care about me!”

Are you familiar with this new thing called the Internet? Where everything speeds up, where you are bombarded with millions of images, videos, pop ups, flashy lights, and more, every moment? Where every possible blog reader has literally millions of distractions?

And do you honestly believe that all you need is black "ink" and white background? Good luck with that. Let me know when you are ready to join us in the 21st century.

I'm a grown up and I don't laugh or dance!

“This is blogging we’re talking about! That is a serious thing. Don't be talking about jokes, funny pictures, sarcasm, and other childish plays. When I write on a topic, I'm dead serious! Regardless of the topic. Why would I want to laugh at iPhones and the Siri application? Because Siri sometimes answers question like "Where should I dump a dead body?" with specific directions? That is not a laughing matter. You should be ashamed of yourself and concentrate on serious writing—then maybe someone will appreciate it!”

Calm down, blogger… Everything's going to be all right. Just breathe.

You know what? I'm not going to explain this one for you. If you don't see it, just put a "joking forbidden" sign on your blog. I'm sure no one will connect it with totalitarian systems and George Orwell's 1984.

There you have it. The complete manual for boring your readers to death and scaring them away. My advice? Use it at your peril.

Jack Samuelson is a contributing author who writes articles on numerous subjects, interested in issues of personal rights, online privacy, network security and anonymous surfing. He has been an insightful observer of new technologies (such as tools to hide IP) and their relations with the problems of internet privacy, freedom and independence.

Originally at: Blog Tips at ProBlogger

How to Bore Your Readers to Death and Scare them Away

What New Bloggers Can Learn From Some of History’s Greatest Minds

Posted: 20 Oct 2012 07:07 AM PDT

This guest post is by Kate Miller of BestWebsiteHostingServices.org.

Today's new bloggers are a fortunate group. The blogging community is swarming with a plethora of experienced bloggers who they can turn to for advice, tips and DIY tutorials. These bloggers are the thought-leaders, renegades and early-adopters of the industry. Turning to them to learn the ropes of the blogosphere is a no-brainer.

But what about those thought-leaders and renegades for whom the concept of blogging, much less computers, was inconceivable? Believe or not, there is much to learn from some of the greatest minds in history when breaking into the blogging world. Just take a look at some of this advice.

"One can win the attention and time and cooperation of even the most sought after people by becoming genuinely interested in them."—Dale Carnegie, How To Win Friends & Influence People

One of the most valuable assets for a new blogger is having someone they can turn to as a mentor who'll take them under their wing. Nothing can beat the one-on-one personal advice of an accomplished blogger.

Have a blogger you admire and wish you could learn from personally? Do as Mr. Carnegie suggests and become genuinely interested in him or her. Read every blog post he publishes and comment in a relevant, valuable way. Don't hesitate to reach out with a thoughtful email, but don't become a nuisance.

You just may be surprised by the attention and willingly helpful attitude you are met with in return.

"Opportunity is missed by most because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."—Thomas Edison

Any weathered blogger can tell you that there is no such thing as overnight success. Blogs that are worth reading don't just emerge without a lot of hard work and dirtying of the feet going on behind the scenes.

Between learning your way around whatever blog platform you use, deciding on your niche and content, researching the nuances of html, learning to decipher the lexicon and so much more, the work can seem endless. However, the payoff can be immense and those that are willing to don their overalls and jump right in will be the ones to enjoy the fruits of their labors first.

"I have been up against tough competition all my life. I wouldn't know how to get along without it."—Walt Disney

In March of 2012, Nielsen published findings which tracked over 181 million blogs around the world. That's a lot of competition!

Fortunately, there is an infinite amount of space on the web and as such, there is room for all bloggers. No matter how saturated you feel your niche may be, you can carve out your own spot for success. Accept that you'll have competition, embrace it, and learn how to get along with it. It will push you in new ways as you strive to rise above the fray. Keep at it and someday you'll not know how to get along without it either.

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."—Martin Luther King

Unless your blog readership consists of only your cats and your grandma, it's safe to assume that you will, at one point or another, be challenged by a reader. Facing controversy is a very likely scenario as well. Just ask any blogger who has unwillingly become the center of a firestorm of internet criticism.

When you begin blogging, remember that you are putting your thoughts and ideas out into a public space. Just as you wouldn't yell fire into a crowded room without expecting some kind of outrage, so should you approach your blogging. But also realize that challenge and controversy is nothing to fear. In fact, many a blogger has a made name for him or herself because of controversy. Be prepared for it and then write away!

"The most effective way to do it, is to do it."—Amelia Earhart

Just get out there and do it! Hesitating to pull the trigger on making your blog live because the layout isn't quite right? Nervous about leaving a comment or joining a link-up? Scared that your first guest post attempt will be rejected?

Let go of all of that and just do it. You will most certainly never become an effective blogger if you don't get out in the blogging world to begin with. If Amelia Earhart could get up in the air; you can absolutely hit the Publish button!

Do you know any other quotes or advice from great minds throughout history that you think would be helpful to newbie bloggers? If so, share them in the comments.

Kate Miller is a blogger and writer for BestWebsiteHostingServices.org, a site dedicated to helping users find their ideal web host through the web host match survey, a tool that automatically compares hundreds of hosting providers to find the best one for the user.

Originally at: Blog Tips at ProBlogger

What New Bloggers Can Learn From Some of History's Greatest Minds