Writing Clinic #1: Busta’s Payday Loan Rules

Posted: 07 Mar 2014 03:17 AM PST

Welcome to Writing Clinic! This is a weekly series where I choose one post at random from those submitted and give feedback and editorial suggestions. If you’d like to take part, read this post for details.

Note that if your post wasn't chosen this week and you still want it be considered, you'll need to resubmit it for next week's draw.

Today’s post is “5 Rules to Get Out of Your Payday Loan” from Busta of BustaLoan.com. It’s already been published, but I’m assuming Busta will update it in light of my feedback, so I’ll give you the current version of the post here.

How the Post Looks

The Post Text

Here’s the full text of Busta’s post:

Rule #1 to get out of your payday loan

The full time job of your payday loan lender is to keep you in debt! Payday loan lenders are not your friend! PDL collectors have much more experience than you do. They've "heard it all" and have a killer reply to every excuse you offer; unless you've done your homework. (I can help you with HOMEWORK!)

Rule #2 to get out of your payday loan

Don't allow the collector to "get inside" your head. Share nothing; zero information. Never use abusive language. This is a game so keep your cool. For the collector, it's not personal. They're simply doing their job. Payday loan collectors are generally not the "cream-of-the-crop." Those who are really good, move up the food chain to mortgages, credit card debt…

Rule #3 to get out of your payday loan

Never, ever give a payday loan lender access to your bank account again. Use Western Union, Money Gram, a money order, a prepaid card… anything but your bank routing and account numbers! NEVER!! And NEVER cash a check you receive from them! More on this later.

Rule #4 to get out of your payday loan

Never volunteer any information to a lender or collector. They already know EVERYTHING about you as a result of your original payday loan application. That means no updates regarding your phone number (get a throw away, prepaid phone at Target, Wal-mart, Radio Shack…), your employment, your address, your new bank account, your new puppy's name, children's names…NOTHING!

Rule #5 to get out of your payday loan

Your Job #1 is to "poor mouth" yourself; you have zero money today and zero prospects for tomorrow.

What’s Working Well

As the posts stands, Busta’s doing a lot of things right:

#1: The Title

He has a great title, with a number, the word “rules” (which is powerful – it implies that if you don’t do even one of these things, you’re getting it wrong). The title also contains the word “your”, which helps make a connection with the reader.

#2: The Structure

Busta's post has a clear structure (though it's missing a beginning and end, which I'll come onto in a minute). He’s numbered the points within the post (sounds basic, but bloggers often forget to) and he’s using subheadings.

#3: The Writing Style

The post is well-written: not just free of sloppy mistakes, but also conversational in tone, addressing the reader as “you”. In fact, Busta uses the word "you" 8 times and "your" 17 times … and the word "I" just once.

What Might Need Tweaking

Of course, being a writer and editor, I usually find something to pick on. Here are a few suggested changes for Busta’s post. Do any of these apply to your most recent blog post too?

Suggestion #1: Add an Introduction and Conclusion

As it stands, Busta’s list of rules forms the whole of the post. I’d really like to see an introductory paragraph and a line at the end to round things off.

Why? Because a list presented on its own can come across as a bit abrupt and even not-quite-finished to the reader.

Suggestion #2: Change the Subheadings

All of Busta's subheadings are almost the same – "Rule #N to get out of your payday loan". While it's great to have the subheadings in place, I'd much rather each subheading gave the actual rule, like this:

Rule #1: Payday Loan Lenders Aren't Your Friends

Rule #2: Don't Let the Collector Get to You

I think this would also help clarify the rules themselves; in some cases, like in point #2, it's not 100% clear what the actual rule is.

My impression is that Busta might have chosen to use the very-similar subheadings for SEO reasons. This is a mistake: keyword density isn't especially important, and you definitely shouldn't allow your keyword to take priority over writing content that's useful for readers.

Suggestion #3: Expand on Rule #5

Maybe Busta was running out of steam as he wrote the post (I know that happens to me!) or maybe he just couldn't think of much to say. Either way, Rule #5 is less than half the length of the other rules, and this makes the post look unbalanced.

(I also think Rule 5 could do with a bit of clarifying. I think Busta's saying that you need to be tough on yourself, and tell it like it is, but I'm not quite sure.)

Suggestion #4: Change the Link in Rule #1

In Rule #1, Busta has a link with the anchor text "payday loan lenders". I expected this to go to a blog post on this topic – but actually it goes to his home page.

This leads me to think the link is in there for SEO reasons. If that's the case, Busta's worrying about SEO at the expense of creating content that's super-useful for readers: always a mistake. I'd either take this link out altogether, or create a link to a blog post that offers further information.

The word "HOMEWORK" seemed to be crying out to be a link to another post, or perhaps a landing page for Busta's newsletter.

Suggestion #5: Use Headers not Bold for Subheadings

HTML code has heading styles, like H1 (used for your post title), H2 (used for first-level subheadings in my post here). In the WordPress visual editor, you can select these using the "Paragraph" dropdown. Depending on your theme, you may find you need to use bold text for sub-subheadings, or you may have an H3 style set up.

Using H2 for subheadings makes them larger and more attractive to readers, and also gives a little more weight to the words in them for SEO purposes.

Suggestion #6: Expand the Whole Post

This is quite a concise post from Busta at 282 words, and I think it would work well at this length and level of depth for an email newsletter. As a blog post, though, Busta might want to consider expanding it – perhaps by adding in links to other resources (on his site or elsewhere) and by quoting from other experts on payday loans to help reinforce his points.

Busta, thanks for being brave enough to submit your post for the very first Writing Clinic. I really like your direct, forthright style, and I hope these suggestions help you and help other DailyBlogTips readers as well.

Do you have a suggestion for Busta, or do you want to point out something you really liked about his post? Let us know in the comments. (Please be polite and constructive with your feedback.)

Wanna learn how to make more money with your website? Check the Online Profits training program!

How to Deal with Negative Comments on Your Blog: Five Different Solutions

Posted: 06 Mar 2014 08:07 AM PST

One fear that some bloggers have, especially when they’re in the early days of their blog, is what to do if they receive negative comments.

In fact, some bloggers are put off starting altogether (or start a blog with comments switched off) because they’re so anxious about this.

While I completely recognise how daunting it can be to start putting your words out there to be commented on by others, the vast majority of comments are likely to be positive.

It’s a great shame to miss out on the interaction and feedback provided by comments just because of the possibility of getting some bad ones.

It’s important to remember that you are in control, and that if someone leaves a nasty, angry, or unkind comment, you have a range of ways to deal with it.

#1: Simply Ignore Them

This isn’t a great response, but it’s certainly a possible one: simply ignore any negative comments on your blog. Allow them to stay in place, but don’t respond to them. You’ll sometimes see this happening on large blogs where the blogger is very busy and tends not to reply to any comments at all.

The drawback here is that it can be off-putting to other people commenting and to visitors who simply read the comments. If you have a lot of negative (and potentially spammy) comments, it can also make your blog look a little neglected.

#2: Delete Them

The simplest way to address a negative comment is to delete it (or “trash” it in WordPress’s terms). Despite what some people might say, this in no way attacks the commenter’s freedom of speech.

Deleting a comment like this is a good response to trolls – people who are simply commenting to get a reaction – or to people whose comment is basically spam.

#3: Delete Them and Email the Commenter

A step up from #2, this might be the most appropriate course of action if you felt that the comment wasn’t trolling but simply someone having a very bad day, or perhaps misunderstanding something you wrote.

I’d be wary of engaging in lengthy email conversations with a nasty commenter – it’s definitely not good for the blood pressure! – but a short, professional email to briefly explain why you deleted their comment might be enough to prevent them writing something similar in future.

#4: Respond to Them

Sometimes, you might decide to let a negative comment stay on your blog – in which case it’s a good idea to respond (for the sake of your other readers as much as for the commenter).

If you do this, it’s definitely a good idea to take a few deep breaths first: don’t respond angrily. By writing a friendly, professional reply, you’ll impress your other readers with your patience. You may even find that the angry commenter responds to apologise or to ask you to remove their comment.

#5: Switch Comments Off Altogether

I mentioned at the start of the post that some bloggers switch off comments from day one. If you’ve had comments on and you’re getting a huge number of negative ones, then you might decide to turn comments off for a while (the trolls may go elsewhere, bored).

Personally, I’d see this as a last resort, and only use it if other methods have failed. If you don’t want to go as far as this, you might introduce more stringent moderation, so you can moderate comments before they go live.

If you want to ban certain people or establish a comment policy, see Jason Lancaster’s post How To Deal with Trolls and Rude Comments.

Ultimately, it’s your blog, and the people leaving comments are your guests. You have every right to delete a comment, so don’t be afraid to do so.

Have you ever received a nasty or critical comment on your blog? How did you deal with it? Share your experiences in the comments.

Wanna learn how to make more money with your website? Check the Online Profits training program!

Pages

USAHA BERSAMA

Ads 468x60px